I don’t know whether I should attribute it to age, but
lately, including last night, I have been having some interesting nights. I
find myself somewhere in between sleep and waking state. I am asleep enough to
be sleep-talking, albeit quietly, but also awake enough to hear the measured
(sometimes) breathing of my partner wife sleeping next to me.
(Deviation….or should that be ‘diversion’? To our road
contractors, the two words are inter-changeable). What is this thing about
referring to people (significant others) as partners? Life has become so
complicated….we are called upon to be so politically correct that we end up
being incorrect! Partners?…not to mention that there are even possibilities of
partners who share the same gender pphht! Can we just go back to the God old
days when partners were senior members of an audit firm….when audit firms had
one name and not a conglomeration of names that now have to be turned into
initials just to fit into a business card….deviation ends here!
So in that half-asleep-half-awake state, I had these rhymes
going through my head. I was mouthing them silently and now I am struggling to
remember what they were all about, but at the time they made a lot of sense.
Someone needs to come with an App (there is an App for everything nowadays
anyway) that I could use to dictate my dead-of-the-night thoughts silently so
as not to wake my wife (never partner, she is wife). So there I was having
these thoughts and words flowing and I was very sure I will not remember half
(maybe more than half) of them in the morning. I can’t tell what time of the
night it was but it was before dawn. I did open one eye (keeping the other one
tightly shut so that I don’t completely let go of sleep) and noticed it was
still dark outside. I considered checking the time, but my phone, though
equipped with ‘an edge’ was not going to help.
(Another deviation/diversion) They did make phones with an
edge. The difference between the one with an edge and then one without was
quite significant, which means I paid quite a bit for ‘the edge’. One of the
features it boasts of is having a night clock on the edge. The clock is supposed
to have the kind of lighting that is just enough for you to read with one eye
slightly open, but dim enough to instantly send you back to sleep for a few
sweet minutes before the alarm goes off….I think English is just wrong….the alarm
should go ON not OFF!....is a diversion within a deviation allowed? Back to the
edged phone; there is either a design flaw or I am flawed. The edge screen is
such that if I have my phone on my bedside table and on charge (I don’t believe
any of those articles that say I should not charge my phone overnight), the
edge screen ends up facing away from me. Beats the whole purpose of having the
night clock on….I would have to get my head from under the pillow (what? You don’t
sleep with the pillow on top of your head? How conventional!!!), sit upright,
get dis-entangled from the mosquito net and then lean over the bedside table just
to be able to see the time on the night clock….all this is likely to end up
waking up my wife (not partner…..by now you get it, no?) which beats the whole
purpose of having a night clock. Seems one feasible solution might be to change
the orientation of the bed, but not sure there will be an accessible socket for
charging the phone if we turn the bed against a different wall. Another option
might be to convince my wife that we swap sides, so I move to her side of the
bed. That might work but I am worried that on those rare nights when I venture
into the bathroom for a leak in the middle of the night with one eye slightly open
and the other one tightly shut to preserve sleep, I might take the usual turns
and by sheer bad luck find myself in the kitchen instead of the bathroom. That
would be atrocious! But maybe, it’s not the phone manufacturer to blame. Maybe there
are some configuration changes I can make to either move the edge screen to face
my side of the bed or move the charging port from the bottom to the top of the
phone. Maybe it is somewhere in the user manual. Only problem is, these phones
come with a user manual the size of a passport photograph. It only says how to
load a SIM card and to connect a charger. There are no longer instructions on
how to connect the battery, because the battery is integrated in the phone – no
longer user-installed. Two instructions is all the user manual gives. The rest
of the user instructions are ‘inside’ the phone itself. You have to know how to
use the phone to find the manual that tells you how to use the phone! Absurd!
Maybe one day I will RTFM (google that if you don’t know what it stands for,
and in my version, the F, though being a 4-letter word, is a child-friendly word
that even Jesus used). Until then, I will be content with the fact that I paid
for an edge that has largely been useless to me…..end of diversion (don’t you just
hate it when the diversion/deviation is so long it becomes the main road!).
Back to my half-awake-half-asleep thoughts at a time of the
night that I can’t quite tell….I can’t remember more than half of the thoughts
(as you probably can tell by now) but I guarantee you they were both ingenious
and ingenuous (you didn’t know those two words are different?). The one bit I can
recall was a bit depressing….that we have sunk so low as country. We are not
just having ‘regular fraud’ where people steal from the public coffers. We now
have people stealing on behalf of other thieves and we are spending all the
time now trying to figure out who stole on whose behalf! We have a body charged
with investigating such matters but since they can’t seem to get to the bottom
of it, they abdicate their duty and the role is swiftly taken up by the unskilled
(sometimes even unschooled) members of a parliamentary committee for further
investigation. Each committee member gets paid handsomely (or beautifully for
political correctness) and I am worried that by the time they table their
report findings that will state that the investigation were inconclusive, which
report will never be published publicly, we will have spent more money in
paying sitting allowances than what was initially embezzled and was subject to
the investigation.
We need Jesus! #NYS -
Ni Yesu Sasa!
No comments:
Post a Comment